February 2012
14 posts
I’ll hold you, as you have held me you’ve held me in your heart, we’ll be set free from fear.We’ve felt our failures. We’ve watched our passions leave, but we’re still breathing on.
I got praised on how well I’m keeping it together, I was told how brave and strong I was for keeping a brave face, how can I accept comments like this when as soon as I’m completely alone I break down into this sobbing mess. Everything is hidden, everything is fake, my whole mood lately is put on. This isn’t fair, things like this shouldn’t happen to wonderful, kind hearted...
I have never seen my brother cry before tonight, I don’t think my heart has broken in that way before. All the fights we have had don’t matter, all grudges we held against each other, those don’t matter anymore. This is tearing us all apart but bringing us all so much closer together. I’m getting stronger, I don’t cry as much anymore, well I guess that is because I have been busying myself I...
It makes no sense to feel so scorn. I still search for others in your form, It’s the opposite of what I need but I’m never sold, so what’s best this winter is for me to let my hands grow cold.
Je vous aime de tout mon coeur
January 2012
13 posts
I have had such a wonderful day/ night.
Nick picked me up after he finished work and we drove to pick Phi up from work. We then got some food and just sat, ate and talked for hours. Nick left and I go to have some pea time with my pea, last night was the hottest night in eighteen years and it was dreadful, trying to sleep is a nightmare. I got woken up at around 11 to Jimmi coming in and meowing...
My skin is sticking to my shirt, its too hot to handle, I have a migraine and I have the worse pms to ever exist. I want to eat this whole block of chocolate and then throw myself into my next door neighbours pool. I just want to be somewhere cold, somewhere peaceful, somewhere I can open the blind in the morning to see fresh fallen, untouched snow. I want to walk through the woods and not be...
I want to want someone.
I want to feel that overwhelming feeling and that pull to be next to someone. To miss someone so much it drives you mad, I want feel my eyes light up and my chest swell up with that warm feeling when I see them for the first time in a long while. I want to desire someone, I want to chase them. I want to be nervous, infatuated and shy. I hate to admit that I miss all...
Sometimes I miss you. Sometimes I miss how we used to play and how we used to talk. I miss how even through all the bullshit I put you through you still wanted me above everyone else. You would still love me when I was screaming at you, even when you hated me and even when was undeserving of any kind of love you still loved me. You held me whilst I cried over self inflicted sickness or injury,...
I feel horrible. I don’t know how to handle this, I’m not coping well, I’m not alright. I don’t know what to do with myself or what to do to make this better, to help or to be strong. I can’t be strong, I can’t pull myself up into who I should be right now.
I seem like I’m being selfish, like I’m acting like I don’t care, like I don’t want to talk about it, hear about it or think about it, I seem...